Citizens

I imagine it's true that the gay community must define itself, must set itself apart and stake a claim in the public sphere, much as the African American community did during its civil rights struggle. And the forms with which that definition takes on, how the gay community stakes this claim follow in practice and form. But just following form, practicing the same practices is not enough to ensure success.

But one real roadblock, one mountainous challenge exists that I feel has yet to be addressed and may well be proving itself to be a major reason why the issue of civil rights for gay and lesbians can not and will not achieve a valorized station in the public sphere; that is, the greater gay and lesbian community continues, in more cases than not, to demonstrate and provide political spectacle in a way that is un-relatable to the majority of Americans.

While unfortunate, the fact remains that the Gay and Lesbian community PRIDEs itself in how it differs. And while there are wonderful intellectual arguments for any one groups’ right and responsibility to celebrate their uniqueness, the spectacle of flamboyantly pushing sexuality, in any form, is not viewed by those who own the public sphere as normal.

The African American community throughout the depression and into the early days of the Civil Rights Movement were seen by the majority of White America as outsiders. These people characterized in media and film as poor, different, ape like; less-than human. So the thought of extending basic rights, human rights was not so much foreign but rarely even considered. But as the dawn of the Civil Rights Movement crested upon our nation a new light shown upon this community; a light revealing in the media a real human existence. The existence of a God fearing people with lives, families, hopes and dreams not unlike that of White America – the then dominant voice in the public and political sphere. Sans the color of their skin, the African American community demonstrated and provided spectacle showing themselves to be the “same-as” those who already enjoyed Civil Rights.

While the gay and lesbian community desperately wishes to parallel their struggle with that of the African American in the twentieth century they can not do so as long as they do not, on some real level, provide a fundamental foundation that allows the general public to identify with them. Network entertainment has helped to some degree with shows such a Will & Grace and Queer as Folk but still, by showing a very real and sensationalist side of Gay life – the character of the “flamboyant” gay man (Jack - Will & Grace) or the seedy nightlife at Queer as Folks’ Babylon nightclub - miss the mark, especially when they emphasize these aspects of Gay Culture instead of the more normative side of life for many Gay and Lesbians. A real challenge for Gay America but one in which the struggle must come to grips with.

A past aquantience's description of the 2004 fall protest at the Georgia State Capital is an excellent example of how providing the spectacle of family, church, and a more publicly normative gay community helps to silence opposition groups. When those you oppose demonstrate the same values, look the same, and are presented as “normal” members of society, those members of the public who might otherwise disregard the gay and lesbian community’s right to exist, based solely on their inability to identify with them, now begin to see these people not as outsiders but as citizens in a classical Roman sense. That is, as part of their own public and political sphere – Citizens.

Inalienable rights, dammit !

It's been a challenge friends. Here I am, a white upper class, outwardly heterosexual male. In America, I have it all. Full citizenship rights. I can live in any town, any neighborhood, belong to any country club, any fraternity, drive any car, attend and be a member of any church, adopt, marry, vote. Yet by doing just one thing, loving another man, I become less-than. I loose most of those civil liberties.

I've tried to make my coming out a thoughtful process. I've not jumped into bed with just anyone. My sexuality is without question though - and is a painful reminder I have lived with for over 22 years. So I've talked a lot with different guys. Coming out to some, even in my current world. Have made some great gay and lesbian friends. But it saddens me when I see the resignation in so many eyes, the knowledge that they each either accept their second city status or pretend they do not care.

Marriage is a prime example. Marriage is a legal construct. Not a theological one (flame away). Certainly, marriage in the church is and should be governed by the society within the church. But the legal contract of marriage should be available to me, as an American. And it is, that is until I wish to make this contract with another man, somehow I have lost that civil right. Now, how does that work?

I've discussed this topic at length with many people, gay, lesbian, and straight. And certainly you can imagine the hetero view - mostly opposed. Usually on religious grounds - even though it's not a religious issue (more flames please). And then there is the blue-collar hetero view - the one that opponents of same sex marriage cultivate best - that gay people, by virtue of the sexual acts they perform, are less than human. The same tactics used by segregationists of the 50's and 60's - how effective, and how sad. But I've found a small percentage (not a majority mind you) of gays and lesbians who actually oppose same-sex marriage. Now how does THAT work? Most of these believe instead that we should have the right to "civil unions" but not marriage rights. But that smacks too highly of separate but equal. Maybe we should have separate drinking fountains too?

So, coming from the other side, the dark side, I can't help but feel militant about this. How can anyone dare to take away a civil right I have had my entire life; take that right away just because I have fallen in love with a beautiful mind, an amazing intellect, an enthralling personality, a sharp whit, that just happens to housed in the body of a man.

A great yet flawed man, Thomas Jefferson, once penned for us all that we as a people "hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with inherent and inalienable rights; that among these, are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness".

If but those words could have been penned into the Constitution instead of just the Declaration of Independence we would not have this issue today.

There is more - pin-balling in the hallways of my mind. If you've gotten this far, thank you.