I wanted to tell my journal and everyone who may care about something that may well have played a bit into my psyche, something that happened a long time ago to a very special friend.
As most everyone knows, I'm just coming out. And as a few of my friends know, I'm essentially a virgin in terms of being with a guy. I have known of my attraction for guys since I was 11, but only confirmed it when I was 17; and even then not completely. My 17th year was amazing but I've not told the whole story.
The other guy was a friend of mine, a boy like myself who was searching. I've told many that after that one experience we both kind of just drifted away. And there is a small truth to that. I went off to college, he stayed in Naples... and became a call-boy. A gay call-boy.
No judgment on his choices. He was a very attractive young man and a free spirit; a swimmer and surfer like myself. Urged me to do what he was doing. But what makes this story so poignant is that as lucrative and that choice was for him, and exciting as it may have been, he died of an overdose in a beach-side suite. Friday September 6th, 1985
Cycle of the moon brings blood to the woman
In the blood of the woman brings birth of a child
Child grow up
Keep forgetting something
Birth of a child comes someplace while you
Even grey days beat the shade to wean
Unbodied unsouled unheard unseen
Let the gift be grown in the time to call our own
Let the truth be sewn before the windows closing
Truth is natural like a wind that blows
Follow the direction no matter where it goes
So it shall be the earth and the sea
Let the truth blow like a hurricane through me
If I've been cold, if I've spoken in anger, to have been bold, forgive me
Annie got married it didn't come with out tears
like the day you died I have laughter for these years
For Michael - I wonder who and where we would be.
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