Weekend in the Blue Wilderness

It's 11:10 PM on Sunday night - the last night of the Thanksgiving weekend and I'm hunkering down in the Starbucks on Nassau Street in Princeton. In my caffeine induced state I'm procrastinating on going through my work emails while Ricky studies. I'm wiped-out. This mono thing still has it's claws in me - and certainly my flitting around the East Coast this holiday has not helped. I've been averaging 10 hours of sleep, even while on holiday and I'm still out of it. Sleeping late up here and then home tomorrow night. Caffeine is my God right now. I'm so freaken tired yet amusingly awake from two triple grande lattes (six espresso over-priced yet addictive shots to the uninitiated).

The weekend of meeting the family went especially well. Northern Vermont is beautiful - beyond my expectations. We rented a car at Newark and Hertz upgraded me to a Range Rover which has been fun. Ricky's family (Uncle(s)/Aunt(s) and Parents) live in and amongst some of the prettiest environs I can imagine. Add to that their progressive politics and you can imagine how unique an experience this is/was for me. Strange to be so accepted and welcomed by a boyfriend's parents and extended family. With no apparent preconceptions either. His dad and I watched football, basketball, talked hunting and cars while another moment may have found me playing cards with his Grandmother and Aunts (no pussy games; Poker, for cash).

Sort of crashing out now so I'll add more to my journal later.

Later.

This so bothers me...

So I found out today that my oldest daughter, Kimberly, has been telling people she would not leave my grandson alone with me because I'm Gay.

That's right - WTF. The implications are staggering. Publicly her rational is that she does not want me influencing him - a 20 month old. Like I'm going to indoctrinate him somehow - you know, show him the recruiting film and all of the brochures...

This so bothers me. I can not describe the pain here. And she was just bitching to my ex that I don't spend time with her like I do Kristen. Oh really? As if I didn't already know that she didn't accept me - now.... And what burns me most is that she is just sooo nice and friendly when we are together. It feels so two-faced.

This so bothers me.

Stuff

There are so many things I want to write about but find little strength or ambition to do so. So many topics...

The week with Ricky here in Atlanta was excellent - much to say there... Politics - how disillusioned I am with the blind polarization seemingly everywhere... Hypocrisy - how so many who fight against Gay rights take advantage of the most basic, innate rights won in Lawrence vs Texas... Hate-crimes and hate-crime legislation - how someone can hate someone just because of the color of their skin or who they love... torture - how my own government can imprison and abuse anyone they deem suspicious of terrorism... the "Patriot" act - how my phone calls and emails are no longer private... my career - New York? Chicago? Seattle?... my future - being alone... not being alone...